Anonymous asked: Hi Sjana:) as someone with depression and who desperately wants to get out of it and who has sought help for it... I hate myself for it but I constantly find myself engulfed by my negative thoughts, I can make it a bit better myself but then it comes over again and I feel like I'm trapped in it ...I genuinely am really sorry to tell all of this negative stuff of mine because it's depressing itself but I really would love your help because you're such a role model to me. How do you get out of the negativity trap?
Response: Hey in some ways you have already started. Just by seeing it as “something outside of you” that’s trapping you. You have already started fighting back. The depression is not you ! You are strong and you have a soul, spirit and mind that will help “free you”. There is a book about depression called “I had a Black Dog” (i think by Matthew Johnstone) which uses some great pictures to illustrate that feeling of trapped you are describing and feeling. Healing from depression is not an easy journey, and it is one that often your GP is a good source of extra assistance and advice, but it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE!
Maybe for you a small way of starting off is to notice all the times in your day the depression is heavy and clouding your day - BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, start noticing the times, however small, when it ISN’T THERE. Notice when you smile, when you taste something nice, when you jump into a bed made with lovely fresh sheets, when you see a baby being cute, pat your pet, get a hug, give a hug, when you feel the sun on your skin, or are fascinated by the tiny cloud your warm breath makes in the chilly morning air, the feeling of socks or slippers, the smell as you walk past a bakery or coffee shop, when you start singing along to a catchy tune etc Once you start noticing the moments you don’t feel trapped, start planning to do more of those and notice more of them. In this way you are starting to take control and free yourself a little bit more each day from the clutches of the depression.
When you get good at noticing the good things, you can start thinking about or imagining some of those nice feelings to replace any negative thoughts that seem to pop into your head and get stuck there too. I know this is just a start, but give it a try. Sending you happy energy, Sjana xx
Anonymous asked: Hi Sjana! I hope you are having a lovely evening :) I just wanted to ask for your help with something and to thank you for being there for so many people. You are a beautiful soul! I am such a lucky person and I am grateful to be blessed with a life so wonderful... I believe that I am a good person. Yet each day I feel sad in my heart and I just can't push past it. I tried exercise and taking myself away from toxic people and situations but I just feel heartbroken. What would you suggest? x
Response: Wow, you seem to be doing all the right things. Maybe it is worth a visit to your family doctor at some stage just to check that there is nothing medical underlying it. Chemical imbalances, hormonal imbalances, mild glandular fever, chronic fatigue, low iron are just some of the things that a doctor might check out. Otherwise maybe talking to someone that is completely removed from your life (eg a counsellor or psychologist) could be helpful to see if you have been trying to protect others in your life from stress or distress and been trying to deal with things all on your own. It might just be your subconscious letting you know it is getting a bit full and would like to offload some of its drama and stress in a safe way? Keep smiling beautiful. Sjana xx
Anonymous asked: Hi sjana, i would really appreciate any help you can give, i am somewhat desperate at the moment. i have been out of work for a year now and isolating myself completely. i cant remember the last time i went out. I suffer from depression and my family know this but fail to understand and expect me to work and study asap like my older sister. how did you overcome your depression. i have been self harming and engaging in eating disorders as a coping mechanism. And want my old life back.
Response: I will always suggest that getting the support or advice from your family doctor or an allied health professional like a psychologist is important in helping you find the way to deal with this which looks at you as a whole individual and can understand the things that are going on in your life and that are really unique to you. There is not one solution that fits everybody. i can suggest you look at ways to increase your activity/exercise and participation in fun or enjoyable activities. It’s likely you couldn’t be bothered or don’t have the motivation (that’s part of the depression) so you will probably have to force yourself. But any little bit can help build up the levels of serotonin (the happy chemical) in our system, because having serotonin in our system prompts our brain to release more serotonin - so the happier we are the even happier we become ! so if you are at home and hear a song on the radio, have a little bop to it, force yourself to skip to check the mail rather than dragging your feet. Other things that can help is good sleep, exercise, socialising, laughter, smiling (even fake smiles work too) good diet and a balance between being busy and being calm or chilling out. Someone once likened depression to a dementor in Harry Potter- it just sucks all the happiness out of you. But what’s the antidote ? chocolate (yay), and it doesn’t hurt to have some friends around to make you laugh too. Fighting depression is really hard, so make yourself some really attainable but helpful goals and a list of little things you CAN do to help. Explain to your family that you want to fight this, you are sick of struggling through each day and you want to live it, but you need their help and explain to them that you would like their help to remind or prompt you to try to do a little more each day or week. And ask them to notice your efforts and small achievements often, in a way that you feel comfortable with. Hope this gives you some helpful ideas of where to start. Sjana x
Anonymous asked: hello, i am suffering from anorexia and depression and i cry every night before bed, i told my brother that and yesterday it was all too much for me and me and my big brother was talking and i felt so emotional so i just started crying, i couldnt stop myself and he hugged me and my big brother was there and now i feel so embarrassed, he might think im really weak. what shall i do? i was suffering inside and he might look at me completely different now, and today he asked me if im okay today xx
Response: Aw beautiful, you have a wonderful brother ! He is obviously concerned for you and loves you very much. He is quite probably just as scared and confused and feeling just as helpless (not weak) as you are. Anorexia AND depression are big scary overwhelming illnesses that feed off our fear and naivety. You are both so strong - you for talking to your brother and so so brave to be able to show your depth of emotion in front of him, and him for holding you, comforting you and wanting to share in your care today ! Maybe now, with the strength of the two of you together, you can be even braver and stronger and get some support from specialists in this area. Have you tried speaking to your GP or school counsellor, or seeing a psychologist. Your GP can organise things like this for you confidentially through medicare bulk bill, or community health (if you live in Australia - not sure how it works overseas). A good source of information and ideas is The Black Dog Institute website www.blackdoginstitute.org.au which you can access from anywhere in the world. Wishing you both some brightness!
Love and light,
Sjana x