Anonymous asked: I’m 17 and wondering what your view is on the appropriate age to have sex. How many sexual partners have you had and when did you first decide to have sex?
Sex is very personal. I think your virginity is one of the most valuable things we possess. I wish more individuals understood its importance beforehand rather than only realising how significant it is until after it’s gone. Personally, I would say wait AS LONG AS IT TAKES TO FIND THE RIGHT PERSON.... even if it means you’re a 60 year old virgin! For girls especially (no I’m not being sexist, it is scientifically proven that women release oxytocin (a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain) when they have sex and that hormone makes them emotionally and physically more attached to the other person... so to girls it can really be difficult for it to be “just sex”. I would say waiting until you don’t have any doubts or questions or queries about it. If you are COMPLETELY comfortable with the person and feel you will not have any regrets, then I would say you are “ready”. But it is completely personal also, it is your choice, your power. My sexual life is private, and I have no intention or desire to publicise it at all sorry. I believe sex is a beautiful thing but should only be shared between two people, not made public to the world! x
Anonymous asked: when it comes to sex I’m so afraid that I won’t know what to do and of how much it will hurt! waaaah
My opinion on sex, is that it is a completely personal thing. So don’t go rushing into it or being influenced by others' opinions. It’s entirely up to you, that’s the beauty of it. When you feel 100% confident, ready and compatible with someone, then you can share that with them. And only YOU can know when it’s entirely “right” to do it, because you’ll have no doubts, no questions and you’ll be curious not concerned.. he’ll make you feel secure. So when the right time comes, it won’t be scary, it’ll be perfectly special. I would much rather cherish virginity and see others doing the same than giving it away out of doubt or insecurity... It is the single most powerful thing you possess - don’t forget that x
Remember too there are other "adult" decisions you need to consider and understand before you make decisions around becoming sexually active. Contraception and sexual health are two of the big things to consider, so if you are awkward about talking or asking about either of those, maybe that is a little bit of a sign that maybe you aren't as ready as you thought to start any intimate relationships. Theoretically sex shouldn't hurt, but if it does, you need to feel comfortable to seek help from a parent, trusted adult or medical professional.
Virginity is something so special that it should never be "taken", rather you should embrace the specialness of it and YOU get to decide all by yourself when YOU are ready - and whenever that is, is fine. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise - it is completely your (adult) decision to make.
Love and light,
Sjana x